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Dating after divorce in your 40s

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If you’re a divorced guy, you don’t need to hear it from me: divorce sucks. Basically every student that attends our weeklong residential program in Los Angeles who’s divorced tells me that it’s the hardest thing he’s ever gone through in his life.

What’s more, guys who have been through a divorce generally aren’t in a huge hurry to get back on the horse and start dating again. At least as much as someone who has never been there can.

When i was recently separated, I was sitting around one night and I got a call from a friend of mine, asking me to meet her, her husband and “some of his work buddies” at a local bar. I walked out the door in a pair of jeans that I probably couldn’t get one leg into today, and a sleeveless top that showed off my slim (at the time) arms.

Being in such a volatile and unhealthy relationship had really taken a toll on how I felt about myself. Hello 40’s: This might apply to any woman, married or divorced, but it’s hard to ignore the number 40.

In the intervening 19 years, the Internet had opened up a whole new world, and Matty-lad was about to enter it.

It was only a month after separation, which may seem indecently hasty, that I broke into the world of online dating.

It didn’t matter how skinny I was, I was the big 4-1.

I was officially “middle aged” and in need of Botox and eye glass “readers.” Why would someone want me when they could have one of the million 30 year olds living in the city? I felt like a failure: I managed to screw up the most serious relationship I ever had. I couldn’t even manage to save my marriage for the sake of my two very young children. There’s a lot of guilt and self-hatred that goes with getting divorced.